A problem is an opportunity to grow, learn, stretch…
Life is difficult! This is one of the greatest truths (one of the 4 Noble Truths). Once we truly see and accept this truth then we can transcend it.
This whole process of meeting and solving problems is what gives life meaning. Problems are the cutting edge of what determines/distinguishes success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and wisdom, in fact it creates courage and wisdom! It is only because of problems that we grow mentally/emotionally and spiritually.
To encourage the growth of the human spirit we challenge and encourage the capacity to solve problems, just as in school we deliberately set forth problems for our children to solve. It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that we learn. “Those things that hurt, instruct” from Ben Franklin, is one reason that wise people learn not to dread but actually to embrace problems and the pain associated with them. Alas, most of us are not so wise. Fearing the pain involved, most of us to a greater or lesser degree, attempt to avoid problems. We procrastinate, hoping the will go away as well as ignore them, forget them and pretend they do not exist. We skirt around problems rather than meet them head on. We attempt to get out of rather than suffer through them. This “tendency to avoid problems and the associated emotional suffering is the primary basis of all human mental illness” (Scott Peck-“Road less traveled”)
“Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering” Carl Jung
Fortunately, some people possess the courage to face their problems and begin- usually with help- to learn how to experience legitimate suffering. Which begs the question
“What is “unnecessary suffering”?
One great description is
H.H. the Dalai Lama, Howard C. Cutler
“Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, the very purpose of our life is happiness, the very motion of our life is towards happiness.” – H.H. the Dalai Lama, from The Art of Happiness
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” — Dalai Lama
You owe it to yourself , and if you have children to them, to learn the basic set of tools required to solve problems and teach the necessity of suffering and the value thereof, the need to face problems directly and to experience the pain involved.
Again, according to Scott Peck, “Discipline” is the basic set of tools required. Also , here are a few techniques to deal with suffering, the way in which we experience the pain of problems as to work through them and solve them successfully, learning and growing in the process. When we teach ourselves and our children discipline, we are teaching them and ourselves how to suffer and also how to grow.
What are these tools, techniques of suffering, means of experiencing the pain of problems constructively that Scott Peck calls discipline? There are four
- Delaying of gratification
- Acceptance of responsibility
- Dedication to the truth
These are not complex tools that need extensive training, in fact they are simple tools that almost all children are adept at by age 10. Yet presidents and kings will often forget to to use, often to their downfall. The problem lies not is the complexity of the tools but in the will to use them.
To discuss the 4 tools and techniques further contact
I can be reached at 415 747-7268
or email or leave a comment. I look forward to connecting you with the info to help you along your path.